Show me, don’t tell me.

“Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.” - Mark Twain

You’ve probably heard that quote before. I know I heard it constantly in writing and language arts classes all through school. But what does it really mean in practice?

I think it is easiest to see by way of examples, so let’s get to them.

Example 1: George held the coin in his hand. The smoothness of it surprised him. He opened his palm to let Billy take a look. Billy was equally surprised.

Ok, that example is heinous. But… I’ve seen worse in published books. How do we fix it? With dialogue and action!

Fixed Example 1: George knelt and plucked the coin from the ground. It nearly slipped through his grasp, worn smooth by years of running water. “I… I never thought it would be so perfect,” he mused. Standing over his shoulder, Billy was transfixed. He reached a tentative hand toward the coin and ran his fingertip along its surface.

That’s much more descriptive, and it lets the reader actually read the story—instead of having the plot dictated to them. And writing interesting plot isn’t just about adding words. Often, you can improve dull exposition by finding better adjectives (and not repeating any adjectives) and by having the characters voice their thoughts. If they state their conclusions, you don’t have to use exposition to lead the reader to the same conclusion.

Let’s take another look at an example.

Example 2: The orcs were obviously confused.

Keep it short and sweet, but make it interesting. Allow the reader to figure it out, even if it isn’t difficult to figure it out.

Fixed Example 2: The orcs scratched their heads, their eyes all fixed on the mustard brown 1997 Chevy Silverado in the middle of the street.

That’s so much more interesting. The reader gets to decide that the orcs are confused by imagining their behavior.

Example 3: The trench was crumbling around him. Private Ryan worked his way up and down the battlements, inspecting the deterioration. If they had more men to maintain it, like they did before the battle, it would be in better shape.

This is a great example where we can add some action (in the past) to bring it all to life.

Fixed Example 3: The trench was in shambles. Private Ryan ran from one end to the other, and the entire length was in disrepair. Had they not lost half their company the night before, repairs would have been possible. Swallowing hard, Private Ryan knew they didn’t have the numbers. One more defense was all the trench had left—and even that was tenuous.

In the end, the real goal of “show, don’t tell” is to give the reader plenty of description while not spoon-feeding them the plot. If you write as though your reader is smart, even the less sophisticated readers will enjoy the writing more. And your smart readers won’t give up only a few pages in.

Want more writing tips? Check out our (free) Easy Grammar Guide! We have a lot more writing guides from a myriad of authors available here.

This post was written by Stuart Thaman, the international best-selling author of too many books to name. He primarily writes epic fantasy LitRPG, and you can find all of his books on both Amazon and Audible.