Formatting Dialogue

For whatever reason, the #1 most common error any publisher sees in submitted queries is poorly formatted dialogue. Let’s tackle it together.

• Incorrect: “Hey, will you be at the game on Sunday?” He asked.

• Correct: “Hey, will you be at the game on Sunday?” he asked.

  • The dialogue tag (he asked) is part of the sentence, so it does not get fresh capitalization.

• Incorrect: “No, I will not be at the game on Sunday.” she replied.

• Correct: “No, I will not be at the game on Sunday,” she replied.

  • Again, the dialogue tag is part of the sentence. It connects to the dialogue via a comma in most circumstances. Exceptions exist for ! and ? dialogue.

• Incorrect: “I didn’t know there was a game on Sunday!” he smiled.

• Correct: “I didn’t know there was a game on Sunday!” he said with a smile.

  • A general rule is that dialogue tags only work if they actually work in real life. Go ahead and smile. Did it make noise? Hopefully not. Saying the speech makes the noise, not the smile.

• Incorrect: “Why did the other team forfeit?,” He despaired.

• Correct: “Why did the other team forfeit?” he asked, despair lacing his voice.

  • Ok, there are a lot of mistakes there, but I have seen worse. Firstly, you can’t have the question mark and the comma. Pick one. And in this case, the question mark is correct. Secondly, while you could argue that “to despair” works as a valid dialogue tag, it would be more traditional to say that the act of despairing, absent all other verbs, makes no noise. Either way, despair lacing a voice is good imagery.

If you aren’t positive on the correct way to format your dialogue (or for anything involving the mechanics of writing)—ask! The internet is a wide ocean, and there are thousands of free guides to writing. And if something doesn’t look quite right on your manuscript, open a book. It often takes less time than you think to find an example in the real world.

No matter your method, don’t submit subpar queries to publishers or agents. Poorly formatted dialogue will almost always result in a quick rejection from any publisher.

Looking for more tips and tricks?

• See all of our Writing Tips here.

• Check out the Ultimate Publishing Checklist.

• Review the best tips for querying a publisher.